Monday, February 19, 2007

Battling Disappointment

What do you do when you come before the Lord expecting something and get nada?

Case in point was my Sunday morning service. We had an AWESOME praise and worship service. It was one of those times when I could totally forget about everything but God. I began to feel so favored, so happy! Not that I'm chasing the "feeling" or "the goosebumps", but since it was there, I was appreciating it. Then, when Pastor Joe stood up to speak, he said that the Lord had changed the plan for the service at around 11pm the previous night! (That's always exciting to hear!) I was completely ready for the sermon!

The speaker replacing Pastor Joe for the service was amazing! The material was powerful, the presentation was attention grabbing, and the anointing was present! But for me, it fizzled three quarters of the way through the sermon!

Craziness! The logical part of my brain began to reason things out. “Maybe you haven’t understood the message yet! Or, maybe Sam, this wasn’t a message that was meant for you! Maybe you were just supposed to be here to help set up and talk to people-”

But I wasn’t in the mood to be reasonable. Heaviness settled over my heart, and I just felt sad. I didn’t even know where to look. One of my friends gave me a hug and asked me if I was alright, and I had to say I didn’t know.

Disappointment is something that everyone experiences every now and again. But, biblically, it isn’t something that we can say we experienced at the hands of God.

Matt. 7:7
“Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.”

Num. 23:19
“God is not a man that he should lie, nor a son of man, that he should change his mind. Does he speak and then not act? Does he promise and not fulfill?”

God has a responsibility to give to those who ask, open to those who knock, and reveal Himself to those who seek!

So how does that affect Sunday? As I drove home, I’m sorry to say I just stewed. I didn’t ask God for help. I didn’t ask Him what had happened. I didn’t even openly accuse Him. Instead, I turned away from Him. Yup, gave Him the ol’ silent treatment.

Had God let me down? Had He promised something I hadn’t received? If EVERY TIME I seek Him, He promises to be there, then what happened?

I’ll tell you what happened. There was a battle in the sanctuary. The enemy stepped in and suggested something and I accepted it. I swallowed the lie. What was the lie? “God’s not here for you today, Sam. You came expecting Him to be here with something special for you today, and He was only bringing things for some of His other children. You’re here because He wants you just to serve today.”

Do you see what a whopper that was? But I took it as gospel, and left the sanctuary. I rejected the idea of going up and getting prayer, because this service wasn’t about me, and the minister wouldn’t have anything for me. I left whatever God had for me and I didn’t pursue it.

Disappointment is a lie. When invited to indulge, you can refuse with all the passion you can muster! Even if you’ve left Him and left the thing you wanted behind, remember, God can and will restore. He will return to you the things the enemy stole from you through lies and deception.

I started this entry not knowing how it would turn out. I had the idea that I’d suggest seeking God a little bit further and keeping after the expected revelation, gift, healing, touch, whatever. But God changed this message.

If there is something you are expecting from God, don’t take no for an answer. Don’t get nervous or self conscious. Be the child who just knows Dad brought her something! God isn’t like the earthly fathers who think they’ve spoiled their children enough! Even Jesus said it; “-I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.”

Hebrews 11:6 says “And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to Him must believe that He exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him.”

I had one out of two done! I came believing that He exists! It was the second part I fell down in.

I don’t want to pretend that I have all the answers. I don’t. OFTEN, I look around and realize that I’m in a mess and the way there was paved by good intentions. But more and more and MORE, God has been showing me that I don’t have to be so concerned with appearances. If I muddle it up, oh well. I still want to follow Him and that’s enough! God can work with that.

Maybe that’s not religious enough for some of you, but again, oh well. We’ll see where I end up!

God bless you!



Heart Cry... said...

Thank you for sharing that! It is helpful that you expose a lie like that. I love that you used so much scripture too! =) Keep going girl! Don't be sidetracked! God has great things in store for you!

Anonymous said...

WOW!!!! That was an Awesome post!!!!!!! I really got something out of it!!! I hope you have a great day!!!!! :)