Tuesday, May 25, 2010

I Live His Life

I'm sitting in my darkened room and it's drizzling morosely outside. The only light is the glow from my wee computer screen and I should be long gone into the land of unconsciousness - but once more, I have a quick thought to share.

I was in worship tonight at Bethel and we were sang this song by Delirious called "History Maker". It sings about how we live for Him.

And as I sang, "I'm living for you, I'm gonna be a History Maker in this land, I'm gonna be a speaker of truth to all mankind, I'm gonna stand, I'm gonna run, into your arms, into your arms again" it was resonating so loudly inside of me, I was just flipping out. But then, God showed me something. I saw how God breathed His life into my bones. That it was His life that gave me the strength to move forward. That I do nothing on my own. I actually saw two pictures: one was all of me consumed by His spirit - His spirit flowing in and out of me and filling me with life. The other was when I was living my own life, by my own power, by my own spirit. And the picture of my life on my own steam was so much fainter, so much weaker.

And I saw how I don't live my life, I live His life. Whenever I lose sight of that fact, I'm living my life in my strength and I'll get worn down. But when I remember that it's HIS life in me, that HE is living through me, then I am able to be all that I was born to be. And it's by running into His arms, again and again, that I am able to continue. It's by total reliance on Him that I can do all that I'm called to do. I am living for Him, but it's through Him that I live and move. It's only by His strength that I can exist. I need to rely on Him fully and completely abandon the fallacy of being able to do anything apart from Him. I live His life. But His life is my life. We are one.

This isn't terribly polished, because I really don't have time to edit it for readability, but it's what's coming out of my heart right now. Night y'all.

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