Snacks in the Night and Philosophical Meanderings

So, it's eleven thirty in Redding and I'm hungry. As I wait for the water to boil on my pasta (we eat late at Casa De Dogwood), I've been mulling over a couple of recent sermons I've heard.

In the last three months, I have struggled to savor and digest massive amounts of teaching. Just massive. You have no idea how amazing the teaching is at Bethel - unless you subscribe to ibethel.tv - and even then, you're missing out on home groups, small groups, revival groups, and just various and sundry bits of decadent revelations that random people share with you! It's amazing and just way, way, way too much to handle.

This affects me in two ways. One, I’m having to lean on God in a new way. I’m learning to trust Him to open the storehouses of my spirit and preserve all of this quality, exquisite revelation. I look at it like time release capsules – it will come back to me when I’m starving for something nourishing. (Not that I’m not going before God for my own daily revelations or bread, that’s not what I’m talking about, so no one have a cow, ok?) Thank God that His rhema is so infecting and withstands the test of time!

Two, I’m having God ask me, “What do you want to accomplish here Sam?” And He doesn’t want some generic “Umm, freedom? Peace?” answer. “What do you want, Sam?” It’s a question He asks me every so often, every time with life shaking results.

Because I can literally do anything that I want while I’m here. I can go to home groups every night, I can find people to play with, I can facebook the night away, I can go to the prayer house every day if I so choose. But what do I want? Why did I come here? And is it still the central desire of my heart?

Even tonight, I felt that same, “What do you want” nudge. I came home right after school and had a shower, then sat down with my pink NIV, fully intending to spend some time with God. But fifteen minutes in, welcome distractions knocked on my door! I could have gone to a party with my roommates (who entirely deserve a break, they are hardcore, homework heavyweights), I could have gotten into a water fight with my neighbors, I could have had dinner with some other neighbors. But again, what do I want?

I remember reading in one of Heidi Baker’s books this story of how they were ministering in a village, and there were people who walked three days without food and without water to hear them teach. The thing that breaks me is that they immediately lined up for the provisions the Bakers had brought with them – Bibles. They were literally starving, and would probably risk starvation again on the way home, but the line they got in first was for BIBLES.

I think that shows something about their hearts. They knew what they were really hungry for!! Hunger for organic food, well, that was a need, but they knew what they really wanted. They didn’t want a meal that would quell the ache for a few hours – they wanted the real food, the bread of life that would settle the issues of their souls!

So here’s the question again: what do I want to accomplish here? God, I want You. I want to line my toolbox with effective equipment and weaponry, I want to form relationships that challenge my comfort zone and last for the rest of my life – but so much more than that, I want YOU.

Jeremiah 15:16
When Your words came, I ate them; they were my joy and my heart’s delight, for I bear Your name, O Lord God Almighty.

Night y’all.

REWIND: A Quick Thought On Boldness!

~What is boldness? It's daring to throw yourself out onto the promises of God. To believe that He has only good things in store for you, and refusing to accept anything less. It's forgeting about yourself, and your image, and your reputation, and YOU. It's facing rejection, not once, not twice, but daily. It's living on the edge; refusing to settle, back down, become complacent, or stop taking ground. Man, what a lifestyle.~

The above is something I posted several months ago. It's kind of funny, when I'm feeling down, or discouraged, I'll often go back and look at things that I've posted before! It's such a surprising encouragement - I love it.

At the end of last year, I was invited to go to Guatemala in February and visit my best friend. (This will be my first mission trip!) When I prayed about it, I felt like the Lord very clearly said, "Yes, go." So since early November, I've been preparing to leave.

Every step of the way, no matter how simple the step there have been OBSTACLES. And through out a pervasive sense of "rush, rush, rush, hurry, hurry, hurry...Sam! You're holding everyone up!!" Clearly, it's the enemy.

I'm finding it so hard not to indulge in severe discouragement. I keep reminding myself that God is watching over me, that He's directing my steps, but I think my "Word levels" are low. So I guess my suggestion to anyone who is facing difficulties right now: DO be faithful in spending some time in the Word every day! Reading encouraging scriptures recharges your batteries and keeps your heart in the place of rest that God has prepared for every believer! (Speaking of rest, I think I'm going to go do that right now....!)

I post this scripture a lot, but it's so TRUE!! Chew the cud with me:

Jeremiah 29 :11-13
For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.

Miriam: The Smart Older Sister

Do you ever think about the story of Moses from Miriam's viewpoint? I was thinking about that tonight and I realized something (aka God pointed something out to me); Miriam let her Mother put Moses in a basket in a river.

That's right. Think about that!! She actually let her Mother place her baby brother in a basket in the NILE. That just blows my mind.

I never thought about it like that before. Man, if that had been me, I would have fished my little brother out of the river and tried to make a run for it with him all by myself. I also would have been angry with my mother for committing what I would have viewed as infanticide! But if Miriam had taken Moses out of the river, it was very likely that he would have been killed. Someone would have caught her with him before she could get out of Egypt (duh, since they were slaves!) and Moses would have been toast.

But Miriam was bright enough to leave her brother where he was. She didn't abandon him, but she didn't take control of the situation.

I'm protective. I'm also loyal. I'm also a control freak. I hear a sweet motherly woman saying "Awww..." but the truth is that particular combination when it's not Spirit-led is pretty lethal.

Miriam stayed close by and available, but she didn't butt in until God nudged her to. Man! I could sure take some lessons for her. It's so hard to leave someone in what seems to be a dangerous situation when you're as nosy as I am. But that's why you have to be close to God. Because sometimes people have to reach a low point before they cry out to God on their own. Sometimes they have to drown a little before they reach out to God from their hearts. If you keep propping them up and propping them up, that baby will never grow beyond baby food. And I doubt that child will walk on it's own, much less swim!

God is always involved. I guess what I'm saying (and I seriously need to learn this RIGHT NOW) is wait until He tells you to do something before you intervene. Release your loved one to God. 'Cause what looks to be a dangerous situation may just be the boat ride to salvation!

1Cor. 1:19
For it is written: "I will destroy the wisdom of the wise; the intelligence of the intelligent I will frustrate."

1Cor. 2:9&10
However, it is written: "No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love him"-- but God has revealed it to us by his Spirit. The Spirit searches all things, even the deep things of God.

Psalm 119:1-8 NIV (A Personal Closer Look)

Aleph
1 Blessed are they whose ways are blameless, who walk according to the law of the Lord.
2 Blessed are they who keep his statutes and seek him with all their heart.
3 They do nothing wrong; they walk in his ways.
4 You have laid down precepts that are to be fully obeyed.
5 Oh, that my ways were steadfast in obeying your decrees!
6 Then I would not be put to shame when I consider all your commands.
7 I will praise you with an upright heart as I learn your righteous laws.
8 I will obey your decrees; do not utterly forsake me.

I've been talking with a guy who is a close friend of mine and he's been kind of struggling with his own perception of right and wrong. Everyone has standards for his or her own life. It's like a person's own line in the sand. Example: I'll get super mad at my Mom and be disrespectful, but I won't hit someone in anger. Or: I'll drive five miles over the speed limit, but I won't make illegal left turns. Personal perception of right and wrong and all the varying degrees therein.

I'm hearing someone think, "So what?" Well, we've just identified a form of "law". Only this law is human law, carnal law, Sam's law of relatively bad behavior. And this kind of law gives us trouble!

My friend was considering doing something, and was running into some difficulty going ahead with it with a clear and easy heart. One reason for worry was that he was concerned with what others would think, what others would say. Another reason for worry, an even bigger one in my opinion, was that he wasn't sure whether God considered what he was about to do a sin. Frustrated, he said, "I wish there was a list of do's and don'ts! Then I wouldn't have to worry about anything!"

I've felt like that before. We get into this formulaic mindset, where all we want is a list of rules. Just a list of rules, so that it's easy. Don't have to think about it, don't have to go ask God about anything, just consult the list and go on living our own lives.

Ps. 119:
1 Blessed are they whose ways are blameless, who walk according to the law of the Lord.
2 Blessed are they who keep his statutes and seek him with all their heart.
3 They do nothing wrong; they walk in his ways.

The problem with wanting a list like that is that it isn't easy. The Israelites could tell us how NOT easy it was. Things happen, and there are so many variables to deal with in actual, real life situations that a concrete rule can't allow for. When we're rules focused we're also sin conscious, so we're missing it there too!

Man! Harsh!

There is hope though! In Galatians 5:1 it says: "It is for FREEDOM that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yolk of slavery." What were we set free from? Sin and death!! And what was the yolk that harnessed us to our sins? LAW!! The law condemned us. So what did God do? He didn't just make a bunch of add-ons and adjustments to the law, He sent Jesus to take the punishment in our place, and gave us a new law, a simpler law, a law that established grace, mercy, and relationship as the rule!!

How many of you hate when you call customer service and get those automated things? "For problems with the billing department, press one. For the claims department, press 2." I get SO frustrated when my problem doesn't fit their list!! I'm always so RELIEVED to talk to a live person, I end up being so sweet and nice, I almost don't get my issue resolved!! Think of your life like that. God wanted to take out the inflexibility of "The LAW" and instead deal with you one-on-one!

Paul said it like this:
Galatians 5:4-6 You who are trying to be justified by law have been alienated from Christ; you have fallen away from grace. But by faith we eagerly await through the Spirit the righteousness for which we hope. For in Christ Jesus neither circumcision nor uncircumcision has any value. The only thing that counts is faith expressing itself through love.

Galatians 5:16
So I say, live by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the sinful nature. For the sinful nature desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the sinful nature. They are in conflict with each other, so that you do not do what you want. But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the law.

My advice to my friend? Talk to God!! Get to know God!! Ask Him what is good and upright. Seek Him, get to know Him, learn to love Him, and then you won't be asking for a list! You'll be naturally serving God and doing what is right.

Lastly:
Ephesians 5:8-9
For you were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Live as children of light (for the fruit of the light consists in all goodness, righteousness, and truth) and find out what pleases the Lord.

Chewing The Cud (Translating Meditation From Christianese Into Plain English)

Hee hee, I LOVE that title!! Love it. (On a side note, I need to write a book and include the sentence, "The grill was a screaming sea of grease.")

Today, at work, while I prepared a vast quantity of pork chops I listened to the sermon from Sunday's service (Making Disciples). And, it was funny and frustrating, bits and pieces of the sermon kept popping out at me. It was like they were highlighted on the inside of my heart. There was one part in particular that I kept rewinding and listening to again and again. I tried very hard to figure out what I was trying to understand or what I was on the verge of discovering, but, whatever it was, it remained shapeless and flighty, just out of my reach.

But the experience got me thinking. Meditation is SO important! It seems kind of boring and mundane, but the process of focusing on one scripture, or one thought from the bible, or one part of a sermon is like exercising. As you look at the scripture from different angles and really lean into thinking about it, the Holy Spirit is right there. It's like, you're doing chin ups, and as you pull up, when you get your chin over the bar, He pops something sweet in your mouth to reward your work.

I was tempted to email my pastor and question him until he gave me the discovery that my spirit was working on. But as I considered it, the image of a chick chipping it's way out of its shell popped into my mind. If someone comes along and helps the chick out, does all the work for it, then the chick will grow up weak. It won't have developed the muscles that it needs. I think meditation is like that. Sometimes, we need to figure out things for ourselves. Not just take whatever has been fed to us, but root around for our own food.

Anyway, check out the sermon. It was GOOD.

Ahh, The Responsibilities Of Focused Blogging!!

Some of you may have noticed that some of the blog links I posted when I started this blog aren't available any more. Well, that's because this blog has a pretty focused purpose. I want this blog to have things that uplift and encourage people. It's supposed to be a spot where folks can find things that bring life, inspiration, and blessing.

As time passes a lot of blogs change. While I may still read them and enjoy them, they aren't the right fit for this blog anymore. So, yup, that's the editing process this blog goes through. =)

~ The Editor

IMPORTANT!! =D

Check this out: "Run". I feel like this is seriously important, that if you seize this and let this be the encouragement that you needed to push on and NOT STOP, you'll go so much further than you ever imagined possible.

This is a season where things are happening quickly. Where before we've had obstacles and seemingly immoveable mountains blocking us, in this season breakthrough can come overnight. The enemy is going to throw up as many challenges as possible, trying to slow us down and trick us into taking our eyes off of the glory that's infront of us. Crazy things might happen, but they don't have any substance. Like I said to my friend one Sunday, it's like no matter what happens (no matter how nuts!) wait two days and victory is obvious! Don't be discourage by anything, don't let anything slow you down, push forward and accomplish as much as you can! Take ground, take ground, TAKE GROUND!!

Be fruitful and be mindful of the season! This is a time for increase, take FULL advantage of it!!

Job Update

GOT THE JOB!!!!!!!! HOO HOO!!

After a bit of delay (and learning to hold tight to peace even when nothing looks stable), my new boss got back to me today and offered me a position in their kitchen!! I'm very excited, obviously! Haha!!

I'm not quite sure which day will be my last day at Starbucks. Either I'll finish out this weekend and start my new job around the middle of next week, or I'll work at Starbucks through this pay period and start at my new job around the 25th.

God has blessed me so much. He's been expanding my horizons, showing me things inside myself I didn't even know were there, and encouraging me to leap farther. I will never again say that I don't feel like God is real or that He doesn't love me. He's proved His heart towards me, and I will never turn back!! God is GOOD!! Haha!!

^_^

Sam

Leaps of Faith

For the last year, the Lord has been training me for my future. He's been gentle and calm with me, so I haven't had a hard time trusting Him. I've been able to see where He was going with each decision and change to my schedule. The only thing that has been growing and stretching is my idea of what I can do and what gifts I have. I've been able to see the conclusion of every step and pretty much knew where He was leading me.

Until now.

One day a couple weeks ago, I was in my bed and almost asleep when my Mom knocked on my door. It was pretty late and everyone knew I had work in the morning, so I was startled by the knocking on the door! But Mom had a cell phone in her hand and my Dad was on the other end and he had news for me. Evidently, one of the customers he was driving (my dad works at a limo company) worked for an assisted living facility and this place needed an extra hand in their restaurant.

Every other time I've tried to consider leaving Starbucks, I've always gotten a serious and firm "No." when I brought the idea to God. I was more than ready for another stop light, so it was shocking to feel like I was supposed to interview! Once I registered that, I still had an onslaught of "I don't know if I'm what they're looking for... Maybe I'll get freaked out by working around all those old folks...." Still, very persistent, was the impression I was supposed to go interview.

So I did. (There is WAAAAAAAAAAAY more to the story, a series of incidents that were obviously God-arranged, but I'm not going to tell all of that right now.) I interviewed on Monday, and I'm supposed to hear back from them tomorrow.

I'm just sitting here, thinking about my life for the past year and a quarter, and I'm realizing I have no idea what this next step is leading to. I have no idea if I'll get the job. Normally, I'd be freaking out, or at least very unsettled, but all is calm and quiet inside. I've been hearing the call of God to start leaping without looking and it's been very cool to begin practicing. I may not be able to see where I'm going to land, but that's fine. This is exactly the kind of trust I need to develop.

One more time:

Jeremiah 29 :11-13 For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.

God is good!

A Quick Thought On Boldness

What is boldness? It's daring to throw yourself out onto the promises of God. To believe that He has only good things in store for you, and refusing to accept anything less. It's forgeting about yourself, and your image, and your reputation, and YOU. It's facing rejection, not once, not twice, but daily. It's living on the edge; refusing to settle, back down, become complacent, or stop taking ground.

Man, what a lifestyle.

Enjoying The View From The Rock

So recently, I've been re-re-evaluating everything. As I sail through life, things pop up and the way I react to them affects my flow. I'm learning to just run to God with anything and everything. Feeling unsettled? "Father!!" Saw something funny? "Hey Dad, guess what!" Tempted to get ticked off at someone? "Hold me back Lord!!"

When I was younger, I clung to my older brother when anything really disturbed me. I expected him to make me feel better. Sometimes it worked, sometimes it didn't. But that wasn't really fair to him. I tried to make him my solid spot, and people get smushed when you stand on them.

As I develop a deeper relationship with God, I've found that every time I'm troubled inside, He has the answer. I can get my focus back on my Strong One and either everything changes, or everything shrinks back to the right size in my mind. Problems aren't huge anymore. My schedule isn't overloaded. I can see again the progress that God has made in my life.

From this I will not be shaken, my God is my rock and my strength. I will find rest in Him.

Ps. 100: 1 - 5
Shout for joy to the Lord, all the earth. Worship the Lord with gladness; come before him with joyful songs. Know that the Lord is God. It is he who made us, and we are his; we are his people, the sheep of his pasture. Enter his gates with thanksgiving and his courts with praise; give thanks to him and praise his name. For the Lord is good and his love endures forever; his faithfulness continues through all generations.

My Current Favorite Song

Hey All!

I've had to do a lot of driving recently, so I get to listen to a LOT of Klove radio. =) They were playing this one song by MercyMe that expresses almost everything I've been feeling towards God. It's become my current favorite! When I told my sister, it turned out that this song is old!! Hee hee, I guess I'm not up with the times. Oh well.

I've posted the lyrics since I don't know how to post song clips. I hope you enjoy it!

MercyMe - Here With Me

From the album Undone

I long for your embrace

Every single day

To meet you in this place

And see you face to face

Will you show me?

Reveal yourself to me

Because of your mercy

I fall down on my knees

And I can feel your presence here with me

Suddenly I’m lost within your beauty

Caught up in the wonder of your touch

Here in this moment I surrender to your love

You’re everywhere I go

I am not alone

You call me as your own

To know you and be known

You are holy

And I fall down on my knees

I can feel your presence here with me

Suddenly I’m lost within your beauty

Caught up in the wonder of your touch

Here in this moment I surrender to your love

I surrender to your grace

I surrender to the one who took my place

I can feel your presence here with me

Suddenly I’m lost within your beauty

Caught up in the wonder of your touch

Here in this moment I surrender…

I can feel your presence here with me

Suddenly I’m lost within your beauty

Caught up in the wonder of your touch

Here in this moment I surrender to your love
Label: Integrity Music

Ireland, Here I Come!

^_^

I'm back! It's been too long, but I'm here now!

As I looked back on 2006, I realized that 2006 was probably the best year of my life. It was a wonderful thing to realize! So much blessing, so much revelation...God has been very good to me. But even as I thought about that, I felt the Lord pointing out something to me.

Let me preface with a story. For Christmas this year, my fabulous older brother bought my sisters the Nintendo Wii. They were screaming and jumping around and hugging everyone, and it was so much fun to watch them! They were so excited and happy I found myself feeling a little jealous! I was like, "Lord, why is it that birthdays and Christmases aren't as exciting to me anymore?" I didn't really expect a response, so I was surprised when these words just dropped into my heart.

"Sam, it's because you don't ask for big enough stuff."

Wow. How many times do we miss out on the excitement and adventure, simply because we have taught ourselves to be satisfied with "just enough to get by"?

God has been showing me in so many areas of my life that I don't depend on Him enough! With all the beautiful growth in my life, you'd think I should be satisfied, right? Wrong!

The bible says that God is able to do exceedingly, abundantly, above all we could ever ask or think. One of the names of God is El Shaddai or "more than enough". God wants to pour out His love, guidance, and provision on our lives.

So to practice trusting God for bigger, I'm going to start dreaming again, and for Christmas next year, I'm asking for a trip to Ireland!

God bless you!

Samantha

It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year!!

I am grinning from ear to ear right now!! We are in the middle of our first snowfall of this winter!! Woooooooohooooooo!! My Mumsy and sisters were helping me with my gingerbread house, so we didn't notice the snow until I had to run out for more supplies. (Shouldn't have been munching so many of the candies... >_< )

It's super cold outside, so the snow isn't very wet, but the flakes are nice and generous. I had to let Marty (our golden retriever) outside so he could have his first snowbeastie frolic. He loves the cold and snow almost as much as I do! He'll go outside and run around at top speed, take a few mouthfuls of snow, and then flop down on his back to make the doggie version of a snowangel! Haha, I love watching him!

The first snow of winter on December 1st! That's gotta be a good thing right?

Enjoy the snow,
Sam

Feeling PUMPED!!!

MAN. What a Sunday service! It was so good.... I barely know where to start.

My brother gave the offering message. Now you're thinking, "Oh HO! That's why she says that the Sunday service was great." Nope. Yes, it's nice to see your sibling progressing on the path God has for him, but I was praying that his message would get through to me. I didn't want to dismiss what he was saying just because he's my brother. Familiarity breeds contempt and all that rot.

Well, my prayer was answered. Praise the Lord, God got me right between the eyes with the offering message! He was talking about giving control of your finances over to God. I just condensed the subject of the message and left out a TON of points that he made, because I want to suggest something. Click the link over to the right hand side of the page that is marked: My Church. It's under my favorites, right above Dear Natalie and my pastor's blog link. Then, once you are on Empower's website, underneath the banner at the top of the page is a place that says Look & Listen. Click on that and you'll be able to find today's message.

If you have never checked out the links that I've provided, PLEASE! This is the time. I don't spam people and I'm not one to send chain emails. I know your time is precious and I wouldn't suggest it if I wasn't sure that you were going to be blessed by it. If the offering message doesn't teach you something and show you something new, the sermon Pastor Barlow preached will get you. If (by some amount of craziness and you are like a spiritual giant) you don't receive anything from the sermon, the missionaries that speak after the sermon will bless your heart!

I was so blessed today. My Father confirmed some of the things He has been speaking to my heart and He challenged some of my ideas about life in general. As it is, I'll have to go over the sermon notes again a couple more times, just so I know that I really GOT it all. God is so good, folks. He is the perfect Father, ever loving and everlasting. If you want to learn and grow, He'll take you by the hand and teach you. If you are wounded and hurting, He'll wrap His arms around you, comfort you, and heal you. He will NEVER leave you or forsake you, no matter what you are getting into. He loves you more than you could ever realize or imagine!!

Check out the link, and be blessed!!

Hugs,
Sam

Taking A Breather

Do you ever hear something from God....and then He repeats Himself like twenty times? It seems like everything you read or hear is on the subject He was talking about?

I need to spend more time with Him. I've been running around like a chicken with my head cut off, trying to produce all this change instantaneously, and it's been crazy. I have such favor at school and work, I find myself really, really busy. I want the changes He's been working in my heart to be evident in my daily life, but my priorities have been messed up.

Today, when I was looking through my usual blogs, I heard a really good suggestion. Setting aside a time or day for a "date" with God. The immediate reaction was, "I don't have time" but that's just not true. I can ask for a day off and go spend time with Him. Get out of the house and just spend sometime hanging out, worshipping, and praying. The very idea feels refreshing and I can't wait to try it!

Merry Christmas!

Sam

Thanksgiving

I can hardly believe that it's Thanksgiving time again. Time just flew by!!

I've been SO blessed this year! God has been dealing with my heart, rooting up some unforgiveness and planting new seeds in there. I've learned so much recently that it's hard to try to express it all. But I still want to list some of the things I'm thankful for and feel free to share some of the things YOU are thankful for!

Thank you Father for:

~Your love, patience, and ENCOURAGEMENT this year!!
~That certain promise you told me about last year around this time! ;)
~My family; we've been tested, but YOU brought us through it! Praise the Lord!
~My new job and all the new friends I've made. I've been blessed with such favor from my coworkers and bosses; I know that's your handiwork!
~Our new church family!! Only You know how awesome of an impact Empower has had on our lives!
~My new car, it runs like a top!
~My school experience! You've worked some wonderful miracles in that situation and shown me what it means to trust You on a daily basis.


I could keep going for ages, but I have to go get food for my family. I hope that everyone's Thanksgiving Day is a wonderful, blessed occasion! One that brings friends and family closer together and closer to God!

Thoughts and Ponderings

So far, this blog has just been my jottings on things God has shown me. When I think about what I want to post, I review some of the major struggles and victories I've had in my life. It's funny though; I've been ministered to just by considering these things again. I want to talk about some of the battles I've been in; hopefully, they will be encouraging to you too!

About a year ago, I had a powerful experience. It changed me and the way I interact with God. There was a minister at our church who was talking about Hannah and the sacred vow she made to God. The sermon culminated in the minster having us ask God for something that we'd been longing for and then, making a sacred vow to Him. Not a sort of quid pro quo type of arrangement, because there isn't anything with which we could bribe God. It was just to finally ask God for EXACTLY the thing we'd been wanting, the thing that we'd been longing for and too afraid to ask Him to give. Then dedicate something to Him to mark the occasion.

I asked God to take away the heavy darkness that was always resting on the top of my stomach. (I found out later that feeling was shame.) I dedicated the rest of my life to Him and doing whatever He led me to do. Then, as a congregation, we all praised God for hearing and fulfilling our requests.

The dark feeling? GONE! In an instant, that feeling was ripped away and in it's place, this wonderful, warm peace. I knew that God was on the inside of me, that He filled that place now, and I'd never feel like He was far from me again.

About three days later, I went to a Dave Duell meeting and God finished cleaning me out. God told Dave about something the doctor had diagnosed me with and Dave prayed for me. I'd never even considered getting prayer about it before that!! (A couple days later, I found out that medically the sickness was gone too!! There was no trace of the disease any more.) But through that prayer for healing, God healed other emotional wounds as well. That experience was so FREEING! I KNEW who God was. I KNEW He was happy with me, that He loved me, that He was a kind, gentle, joyful Father.

Even now, when I look back at those weeks, I still get this big smile on my face! I can still feel the joy and peace of that moment. I wasn't concerned with how I looked or what others thought about me. I just rested and let my Father minister His overwhelming love to me. What an amazing experience!


Still Smiling,
Sam

My First Blog!!

Heheh! So I know that the name of this blog could be alarming to some people, but don't worry! I'm not too crazy..... Hahah, actually the title of this blog is the meaning of my name! And I really wanted to talk about that.

Do you ever think about how important names are? In the bible, you see that when a parent would name their child, very often the name would mean something special. Either the name would describe something the parent was going through around the time of the child's birth, or it would foretell something about the child or the child's life. Benjamin, the son of Jacob (also known as Israel), almost was named Ben-Oni which means son of my sorrows! Rachel was going to name her child that because she was dying, but what kind of life do you think he would have had? He would have had to hear that he was a child born out of sorrow every day of his life! But Israel, even though he was saddened by the death of Rachel, wasn't willing to have his son named for sorrow. Instead, he named him Benjamin which means Son of my right hand. What a name! Instead of hearing that he was a child associated with death and sorrow, Benjamin grew up knowing that his father LOVED him and that he was highly favored!

Sometimes God would change someone's name to reflect the new circumstances and blessings He was about to shower on them. Isn't that beautiful? No matter what your parents or friends think about you or say about you, God sees you how you are! He can change your name to reflect the tremendous love and compassion He has for you. He will wipe your slate clean and give you the name that reflects your TRUE self, the you that He sees!

One of the reasons names are so important is that they are spoken outloud. Whether you know the meaning of your name or not, if affects your life. I have a best friend whose name means, "Enlightened One" and "Out of the dark river". His life has been filled with struggles and trials. He's been into some really dark things, but God got hold of him and now, my friend is fullfilling the meaning of his name! He's enlightened and he's passed the dark times!

My name may mean Listener of God, but I've always been called Sam. When I was younger, I went through struggles and dark times, and I'd find myself thinking that I didn't really reflect the meaning of my name. Sometimes, when I was really down, I'd wonder why it felt like God wasn't hearing my cries or comforting me. One time when I was really feeling dark, I went online as usual and started checking my emails. On a whim, I went to a baby name site and looked up my name again. In the bottom corner of the page, there was a hyperlink that led to my nickname. I clicked it and guess what I found out?? Do you know what Sam means? "God hears!"

God bless you!

Samantha F.